It's Been Far Too Long! & Word(s) Of The Year

Two years, one month, and six days since I've posted to this blog!  To my followers, readers...I am so sorry!  I never meant to neglect this blog or you.

In truth, I let fear take over.  I let fear keep me from making the art I should have made.  I let fear keep me from sharing anything that I did make.  I let those fear gremlins really take over and rule.

In the time since I last posted, I did manage to eek out a few pieces of art.  I just find it so hard to pick up the brush even when it is screaming my name.  I am afraid, I am even a bit embarrassed to do it.  I am not at a point where I can openly create with people around me.  I don't have a studio that I can lock myself away in.  My easel and supplies are in my room.  But it's not just my room, I do share it.  I always feel awkward when I do go in there to paint and then I have the "Whatcha doing?" in and out thing.  Then I get frustrated and then just sorta fizzle out and stop creating.

But this year....this year I want to change that!  So I started by hanging 2 of my art pieces over my computer desk, which is right next to the kitchen.  So EVERYONE can see it.  I feel like a bit of my soul is on display and it is a bit unnerving.  I did it to step out of my shell, I did it to remind myself that I need to make more art. 

I am lucky enough to have won a spot in 21 Secrets Live.  And since it is an online class, I make myself work in my journal while watching it.  HARD STUFF!!!!!!  Working in the open is so difficult for me.  It is so hard to focus and create.  But I am determined to overcome it.

For 2014, I chose Emerge and Authentic Self as my words.  I really haven't put much effort into working it.  And let me tell you, the Universe...she let me know that I am slacking!  All week, I kid you not, if it hasn't be 'emerge' it's been 'authentic self' coming at me at every turn.  First it was some oracle card posts on Facebook.  Then in this week's 21 Secrets Live class Julie talked a bit about authentic self.  Yesterday it was a blog post by Dominee.  Today it was more oracle card posts and another blog post by another artist.  All week the Universe has been throwing my chosen words in my face. 

I just don't know how to do it.  I don't know how to emerge or how to find my authentic self.  I don't know how that is.  But clearly I have chosen my words well, and the Universe means to see me act on them.  So I better figure out how to get my ass in gear! 

I will try to post some of my art that I have made since my last post this weekend.  Key word is try...my 11 year old niece is spending the weekend.

It's Been A Pretty Good Week

I am quite happy with myself that I consistently arted for 6 out of 7 days this week.
Was taken to this little out off the beaten path art shop where I scored some Sequin
waste for 49 cents a yard!!!
Today popped over to Hobby Lobby (crack store for poor hungry artists LOL) and picked
up 3 Aquarelle pencils (HEAVENLY! I'm in love! *swoon*), some poster board, Large blank
tags, and Score of the Day: a tube of Amsterdam Expert Series acrylic paint in Vermillion that
normal price is 9.99...on clearance for *drumroll* $1.68!!!!!!!!!!!!! And hot damn this color
is HOT!!
I'm not thrilled with my Book of Days. Mostly because the size is too small. I will finish it
out, it doesn't have many pages. It's the smaller size of Strathmore Visual Journal. It just
feels too...cramped, hard to think of collaging in, etc. I prefer an 8x10 at least...so I'll be on the hunt for something very soon. I just am not sure what to work in next and I haven't found a
book to alter yet either. Oh well, it's too late in the night to worry about it. Tomorrow is another day.
And another day to make more art...YAY!

Art I've Made So Far...

Here's a few pictures of what I've made so far this year. I've been having a lot of fun making art.

My interpretation of Louise Gale's color challenge. I didn't have Tangerine Tango so I had to blend my on rendition of the color.

This is what I came up with for Tee's "Fire and Ice" prompt.



My January Journal page for Milliande's "Be A Seed" prompt.
My very first ever! ATC for a January challenge.

And last but not least...My cover to my Book of Days.

Creative Alchemy, That's My Word For 2012

Making art, making art...la la la la la...making art. That's what I've been doing the last few days.

Working on my Book of Days cover and my first spread. Finally made my first ATC, it was for a challenge. And working on Tee's "Fire and Ice" prompt. Just to name a few.

My poor computer is surrounded by paints and brushes and art journals, gesso and stamps and ink pads, a pad of canvas paper and a pad of watercolor paper (note to self...dollar store watercolor paper is crappy!)

The only thing I haven't gotten around to is writing yet. But I have our 8 year old niece here for a couple of days and it just seems easier to put that off for just a couple more days.

I'm pretty proud of myself that I've been consistent the last 3 days. I hope I can keep with it. Hopefully, I will have pictures read to post by the weekend too.

Getting Ready To Art In 2012

I am so ready to start painting again! There's a few workshops and such I will participating in starting on the first.

I will be doing:

• Book of Days with the fabulous Queen of Glitter Flinging Effy Wild
• 52 Play dates with Jan Fox
• Strathmore Workshop Series

And that's just what I know of right now. If it's *free* I want to do it if it's in my realm of interest. Like I will be going through all of Amy McDonald's workshops on Ning, I'm especially interested in her Portraits one because I really want to learn to do faces.

I wish I could find a *free* whimsy course. I just love the look of whimsy faces, but I don't want that to be all I know how to do cute as it is.

Right now, to get ready for 2012 I am working on the cover for my Book of Days journal. The book I'm starting with isn't my first choice, I just haven't found what I want to use yet. To me this one seems like it is too small (it's a 6"x8" I think).

Since my word for 2012 is Creative Alchemy, I will find a way to make this work in the mean time. Now if only this first layer of color would hurry up and dry!!!!

Time To Say "NO!" To The Voices In My Head

Once again, I've neglected this blog. I would look at it and think...I really need to post something. But when you don't art, you don't paint...well there's nothing to post.

And that is because I've spent much too much time listening to those negative voices in my head. The ones that tell me "You're no good at this!" "That's just utter crap!" "You don't know what you're doing!" And on and on it goes. Then there's good ole Fear Gremlin whispering in my ear telling me I can't possibly paint or art in front of other people. Whispering "They will laugh at you. They will talk about what junk you create behind your back." I've been too weak to fight back against the voices and the gremlin. Why? I don't know, but I've had enough! NO MORE!

I didn't buy all those supplies to look at them sit in a closet. I didn't ship the ones I had 2200 miles to watch sit next to my new stuff. So what if I didn't ship my work from BIG to have it with me. I can make new paintings.

So as this year is coming to a close, I will say good bye to the fears, to the voices, to the gremlin. I know it will take work on my part, but it's something I have to do. As part of living up to my word for 2011 which was Freedom.

I will approach 2012 with the desire to create. To work in my art journal. To create new BIG paintings. To work on my alter book and box. Over the next couple of weeks I will be picking a word for 2012. I will gear up and prepare to participate in Effy's "Book of Days" year long adventure. I will catch up on the workshops I didn't get to finish. I will dream of joining in the next DEEP and 21 Secrets, I will wish and hope and wish some more that some how, some way I will be able to participate in them as well as in Lifebook. I cannot afford to sign up for any of them, but maybe some how the Fates will find a way for me to join in these fabulous workshops. I will also work through Total Alignment.

As I create, I will share on here. I will share my journey as I come out of my shell and start to art.

Boy, Did I Ever Drop the Ball Here

So BIG has come and gone. I had a great time with it. I still need to do my final projects, but my life took a turn. I made changes I was scared to make. Moved 2200 miles with only what I could carry or afford to ship. I had to leave my really big paper behind along with the paintings I did which makes me sad. I know I could buy more paper, and I can paint more pictures. But I was attached to a couple of them.

I really would love to take DEEP which starts in October I think. But I can't sadly :( at least not this time around. But maybe one day I will be able to move on to taking DEEP and then FEARLESS.

I miss my big paper so much. I have been wanting to paint BIG but I had to leave my pads of paper behind. Now I could go buy some, which I am hoping to do soon. BUT my dilemma will be where to paint.

But here are a couple of things I did from BIG: