Friday, February 14, 2014

It's Been Far Too Long! & Word(s) Of The Year

Two years, one month, and six days since I've posted to this blog!  To my followers, readers...I am so sorry!  I never meant to neglect this blog or you.

In truth, I let fear take over.  I let fear keep me from making the art I should have made.  I let fear keep me from sharing anything that I did make.  I let those fear gremlins really take over and rule.

In the time since I last posted, I did manage to eek out a few pieces of art.  I just find it so hard to pick up the brush even when it is screaming my name.  I am afraid, I am even a bit embarrassed to do it.  I am not at a point where I can openly create with people around me.  I don't have a studio that I can lock myself away in.  My easel and supplies are in my room.  But it's not just my room, I do share it.  I always feel awkward when I do go in there to paint and then I have the "Whatcha doing?" in and out thing.  Then I get frustrated and then just sorta fizzle out and stop creating.

But this year....this year I want to change that!  So I started by hanging 2 of my art pieces over my computer desk, which is right next to the kitchen.  So EVERYONE can see it.  I feel like a bit of my soul is on display and it is a bit unnerving.  I did it to step out of my shell, I did it to remind myself that I need to make more art. 

I am lucky enough to have won a spot in 21 Secrets Live.  And since it is an online class, I make myself work in my journal while watching it.  HARD STUFF!!!!!!  Working in the open is so difficult for me.  It is so hard to focus and create.  But I am determined to overcome it.

For 2014, I chose Emerge and Authentic Self as my words.  I really haven't put much effort into working it.  And let me tell you, the Universe...she let me know that I am slacking!  All week, I kid you not, if it hasn't be 'emerge' it's been 'authentic self' coming at me at every turn.  First it was some oracle card posts on Facebook.  Then in this week's 21 Secrets Live class Julie talked a bit about authentic self.  Yesterday it was a blog post by Dominee.  Today it was more oracle card posts and another blog post by another artist.  All week the Universe has been throwing my chosen words in my face. 

I just don't know how to do it.  I don't know how to emerge or how to find my authentic self.  I don't know how that is.  But clearly I have chosen my words well, and the Universe means to see me act on them.  So I better figure out how to get my ass in gear! 

I will try to post some of my art that I have made since my last post this weekend.  Key word is 11 year old niece is spending the weekend.