Getting Ready To Art In 2012

I am so ready to start painting again! There's a few workshops and such I will participating in starting on the first.

I will be doing:

• Book of Days with the fabulous Queen of Glitter Flinging Effy Wild
• 52 Play dates with Jan Fox
• Strathmore Workshop Series

And that's just what I know of right now. If it's *free* I want to do it if it's in my realm of interest. Like I will be going through all of Amy McDonald's workshops on Ning, I'm especially interested in her Portraits one because I really want to learn to do faces.

I wish I could find a *free* whimsy course. I just love the look of whimsy faces, but I don't want that to be all I know how to do cute as it is.

Right now, to get ready for 2012 I am working on the cover for my Book of Days journal. The book I'm starting with isn't my first choice, I just haven't found what I want to use yet. To me this one seems like it is too small (it's a 6"x8" I think).

Since my word for 2012 is Creative Alchemy, I will find a way to make this work in the mean time. Now if only this first layer of color would hurry up and dry!!!!

Time To Say "NO!" To The Voices In My Head

Once again, I've neglected this blog. I would look at it and think...I really need to post something. But when you don't art, you don't paint...well there's nothing to post.

And that is because I've spent much too much time listening to those negative voices in my head. The ones that tell me "You're no good at this!" "That's just utter crap!" "You don't know what you're doing!" And on and on it goes. Then there's good ole Fear Gremlin whispering in my ear telling me I can't possibly paint or art in front of other people. Whispering "They will laugh at you. They will talk about what junk you create behind your back." I've been too weak to fight back against the voices and the gremlin. Why? I don't know, but I've had enough! NO MORE!

I didn't buy all those supplies to look at them sit in a closet. I didn't ship the ones I had 2200 miles to watch sit next to my new stuff. So what if I didn't ship my work from BIG to have it with me. I can make new paintings.

So as this year is coming to a close, I will say good bye to the fears, to the voices, to the gremlin. I know it will take work on my part, but it's something I have to do. As part of living up to my word for 2011 which was Freedom.

I will approach 2012 with the desire to create. To work in my art journal. To create new BIG paintings. To work on my alter book and box. Over the next couple of weeks I will be picking a word for 2012. I will gear up and prepare to participate in Effy's "Book of Days" year long adventure. I will catch up on the workshops I didn't get to finish. I will dream of joining in the next DEEP and 21 Secrets, I will wish and hope and wish some more that some how, some way I will be able to participate in them as well as in Lifebook. I cannot afford to sign up for any of them, but maybe some how the Fates will find a way for me to join in these fabulous workshops. I will also work through Total Alignment.

As I create, I will share on here. I will share my journey as I come out of my shell and start to art.

Boy, Did I Ever Drop the Ball Here

So BIG has come and gone. I had a great time with it. I still need to do my final projects, but my life took a turn. I made changes I was scared to make. Moved 2200 miles with only what I could carry or afford to ship. I had to leave my really big paper behind along with the paintings I did which makes me sad. I know I could buy more paper, and I can paint more pictures. But I was attached to a couple of them.

I really would love to take DEEP which starts in October I think. But I can't sadly :( at least not this time around. But maybe one day I will be able to move on to taking DEEP and then FEARLESS.

I miss my big paper so much. I have been wanting to paint BIG but I had to leave my pads of paper behind. Now I could go buy some, which I am hoping to do soon. BUT my dilemma will be where to paint.

But here are a couple of things I did from BIG:

Week 1 of BIG

It was fun, challenging, emotional. I say challenging because it requires me to let go, let go of the crap in my head...the voices that say "You suck" "You're not good enough" "That looks like utter crap". To let go of what my mind thinks I should do, what the painting should look like, the urge to 'perfect' it. Challenging in I need to let myself think outside the box. To let the paper, the paints speak to me.

And emotional. OI! By mid week, I was an emotional weeping pile of I don't know what. And really it wasn't the painting or exercises that did that. No by mid week, I had made a step for me to make a call that was long over due. I called the crisis center and spoke to an advocate there...I won't go into all that here. If you're interested in knowing you can always read about it on my main blog The Forgotten Muse.

But that call, opened up something in me and all I could do or wanted to do was weep. I mean really cry from the deepest part of me. But when you're surrounded by people constantly, it's a bit difficult to do. So I wept on and off, and some how tried to work those emotions into the painting process.

You know what...I held back. I didn't truly let go. I didn't truly throw it all into the painting I wanted so much to destroy. Why? I didn't know how. I didn't think I was 'allowed'. I haven't decided yet if I want to go back and attack that painting and give it the ass kicking I wanted to. Or if I want to just throw all that feeling into another "Angry" painting. Part of me says go back to that one...it somehow has some unknown connection to the anger, the hurt, the pain.

I am looking forward to Week 2 of BIG. More challenges, more letting go, more of being BIG and FEARLESS.

BIG Has Begun

Oh My Goodness! BIG has begun. It's fun so far. These first assignments are easy in one sense but in another it's like damn this is hard! Especially when my life long pal "FEAR" shows up. And let me tell ya...Fear just doesn't know when to shut up. I've not verbally confronted my pal yet, but it's coming! Right now I'm just choosing to ignore those voices and keep on doing the assignments. Painting 2 or 3 of each one. I'm on assignment 2 right now, and I like it best...at the moment.

This week is all about painting, painting BIG, painting FEARLESS. It's about turning off that inner critic, telling Fear to take a hike. For me, those are no easy tasks.

I don't know if I want to move on to assignment 3 yet or play around with 1 and 2 some more. I just know I'm falling in love with Liquitex paints. I bought some Artist's Loft ones. Both are consider Basics or Level 1 paints. It's only a dollar difference between the 2 brands but I can honestly say I won't mind paying the extra buck for Liquitex. It goes on and spreads much, much smoother than the Artist's Loft brand. Which I am finding doesn't like to move too well even when I add a medium to it or even some water.

Well, this one's almost dry...soon time to start another...YAY!

BIG!

I'm going to be taking this online workshop with Connie Hozvicka. I've read some great things about it. And I feel like it is something I really need to do. So...I am going to be brave and learn to be BIG and FEARLESS!

Some Journal Pages

These are some pages I had done for Milliande's Art Journal January. I used Artist's Loft Watercolors (in the tray) and an Extra Fine tip Sharpie Marker for 3 of the pages. I'm still playing catch up on the rest of the days that were covered. I'll get around to it eventually LOL.

The header for my blog here was the spread I created in the altered baby board book for Tam's Art Heart and Healing workshop.

Art Journal Love Party Page

This is a journal page I worked on for Connie's at Dirty Footprints Studios "Art Journal LOVE Day Party!"

She's giving away some fabulous prizes. Stop by and check it out...there are so many amazing people participating. Go on...check it out!

A Few Pictures Finally!

Finally got batteries for my camera. But I've been under the weather these last few days and haven't taken any new pictures. Need to start somewhere though, Right??

My current project is altering cigar boxes. I had 3 laying around the garage and I wanted to do something with them. These are those thick cardboard type ones. The un-done one has some damage to it, not too sure if I can or will work with it yet. The gesso covered one will have a blue base too it. And the purple one, well I'm not sure yet. I'd like to do some collaging on it but come to realize I don't have much to work with. I feel a Michael's trip coming on to scavenge the clearance racks. I HATE to pay full price if I don't have too. :D I really want to do more of these types of boxes, maybe wooden as well or instead of these. I just don't know for sure where to find them.


These are some bags I've been crocheting. They are big enough to hold a standard Tarot card deck. The bags are about 6 inches tall or so. They can be used as a small purse, for holding gem stones, cosmetics. I was thinking of putting them up on Etsy.





Like any artist, I worry whether they are 'good enough'? Would they sell? And a host of other questions that race through my mind.


In the next post, I will show a couple of my journal pages.

Pictures Soon

I hope to have a few pictures up in the next day or so of some things I'm working on. As well as what I've already completed.

My camera isn't cooperating too well at the moment. Okay I need batteries and I am pushing the ones I have to try and get every last bit of power left in them. At best, if I can't get anymore juice out of them, I'll have pictures up by the weekend when I do get some batteries.

New Blog Just for Art

So here I've created a new blog just for art related stuff. Some place I can talk about whatever art project I'm working on and show pictures of the masterpieces or disasters, which ever they may be.